Forget it, holdsteadyjake2004, it's Chinatown.

I lost. So did hsj04. The Best American Weblog went to Cute Overload, if you can believe it. Full results here. More later. I'm off to "sex-positive blogging" seminar and then I'm going to battle Henry Owings in a BBQ-eating contest.

Guitar Wolfie.

It's official! Van Halen will tour with DLR! Wolfgang Van Halen will replace Michael Anthony on bass. I would have picked Les Claypool from Prius, but that's why I'm an award-winning blogger and not a professional music man.

Dig Deep.

I directed this "digital short" that aired on Saturday Night Live last night. People seem to dig it. It was co-written by two of my comedy buddies: A. Whitney Brown and Bob Zany, bay-bee.

American Hardcore.

18 RABBITS ****EXCLUSIVE***** Britney shaves her head!!!!



UPDATE:

You're not gonna believe it. According to Tom Scharpling on the 2/20/07 installment of The Best Show, Doug Llewelyn -- that dude from The People's Court -- had a similar meltdown! He's bald! I haven't seen any pictures, but I bet he looks like Lux Luthor.

Linus on the Radio.

Go here to listen to me on The Best Show on WFMU from 2/13/07. I had a long chat with host Tom Scharpling (RIP) about my rise to blogging fame and some of my best posts!

np: ICP - "Bugz On My Nutz"

Newbridge looked tired last night.

You're not gonna believe it: "holdsteadyjake2004" got linked all over the place today because of some update on that stupid disease (I guess it's called "limp lip"). Well, he supposedly took a turn for the worse, and the bulk of his lips disappeared. Everyone is saying that this might clinch the Bloggie for him. Well, they're wrong. I have a few surprises planned for later this month. Here's a prediction: I'll be knee deep in the sweat-wet confetti at my victory party pit next month in Austin.



np: Flaming Lips - "They Punctured My Yolk"

Hang the DJ.

I killed someone today. No, it wasn't one of those "I accidentally hit a pedestrian and I'm so broken up things." This is a pre-meditated murder. The victim's name is inconsequential -- let's just call him "DJ". I'd be lying if I said I didn't find it exhilarating when I wrapped my white belt around his throat. I could see his juggler vain sticking out. And then he was gone, and I went to McDonald's and got some french fries.

Grammys.

DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE: THE POLICE SUCKED LAST NIGHT.

Dear rock dinosaurs, Stay Extinct!

The Look.

This just in: New Shins record out today!

Alright, Still.

Back in high school, my friend Lily's mom had a TORRID affair with my best friend, Tony. What a mess!